Just back from Edinburgh. Hotter than a snakeshit on the train, and no aircon........ Still, beats hanging around in airports. Feel pretty rested, though the oppressive weather is a drain. That plus drinking til 1.30 and getting up at 7.30.

Do you ever find you that the pressures of everyday modern life make you feel "frustrated" ? Does this "frustration" ever get too much to cope with ? My advice to you is- stamp on someone's groin with a studded football boot. You will feel so much better- and if any retarded authority figure attempts to reprimand you for this, then just remember, he's old, slow, and his wife don't give him none. Repeat this mantra as many times as possible under your breath as you head for your early bath. Or, if you wish, sing it to the tune of "The Camptown Races". Oh, dee doo dar day.............. And never fear, for the next day, your national press will imply that your victim had it coming all along. Oh, dee doo dar day...................